5. Really anything from Murray's Cheese...though if you really want to score points, go for the "Cheese of the Month" club membership. If your sweetie is a fan of stinky cheeses, you can't go wrong with Epoisses.
4. Season With Spice: Asian Sea Salt Sampler Kit. With an absolutely astounding selection of Asian spices (Aleppo Chili flakes! Sri Lankan curry!), Season With Spice is a wonderful resource for the ambitious home cook. Lest your love be overwhelmed by choice, gift him or her with one their sampler of flavored sea salts, all of which pair well with different proteins and vegetables.
3. Try the World subscription. The next best thing to food tourism is Try the World, a subscription service that delivers a curated assortment of food samples from a particular foreign destination (past picks include Argentina, Paris, Japan). Warning: May prompt your partner to take you on an international journey.
2. Williams-Sonoma's Heart Rosebud Cake. This dense, moist dark chocolate cake is crowned with an equally thick layer of buttercream rosettes. Yes, it's $50. Who the f%ck cares--can you put a price on love?
1. Laphroaig Single Malt. Champagne is so 2010. Keep it classy this Valentine's Day and procure a bottle of Laphroaig 10-year-old single malt. Its smooth, subtle smoky notes are the perfect complement to chocolate and cheese, making this whisky the perfect Valentine's Day libation.