You're My Best Friend: Tom of Finland Vodka

Prior to seeing Bohemian Rhapsody, I would describe my interest in Queen as “robust.”

After? I became freaking obsessed, and specifically, and predictably so, with Freddie Mercury for a thousand reasons I may outline in a forthcoming tome which include but are not limited to the fact that he loved cats.

So, yes my extreme bias toward all things Queen highly influenced this latest pick for The Pandemic Pantry.

Tom of Finland Organic Vodka is so named for the creator of the 1950s gay male iconography that inspired Freddie Mercury, Jean-Paul Gaultier, and others. In return for use of the license and imagery, the vodka manufacturer donates 5% of sales to the Tom of Finland Foundation, which is dedicated to preserving free use of the erotic arts. Cheers to chainmail, and, um, chained males!

Why Tom of Finland Vodka Deserves A Place In Your Pandemic Pantry

This vodka boasts a fresh, clean taste and has a finish that is just as tight and silky as one of Mercury’s form-fitting jumpsuits. It’s pleasant to sip on its own with a slice of lime but also unsurprisingly works terrifically in cocktails (see recipe below).

2020 is a particularly fitting time to indulge in this spirit as Tom of Finland would have celebrated his 100th birthday and this year also marks the 50th anniversary of Queen. I can’t think of a more appropriate gift for LGTBQ friends and allies as well as the die-hard fans of Brit rock.

A vodka tonic was Mercury’s post-prandial beverage of choice (he also enjoyed champagne and Swiss wine), so in accordance to his preference and in honor of his Parsi-Indian heritage, I give you this recipe for a vodka tonic with a twist (but not the olive kind). Because rosewater features prominently in many Parsi beverages and desserts, I have added a sweet floral element to the traditional vodka tonic via the addition of rose-flavored syrup. It’s called Mercury in Prograde because no matter what life challenges he faced, my dear Freddie looked forward, never back.

Ooh, you make me live, now honey!

Mercury in Prograde

• 2 ounces Tom of Finland vodka

• 1/2 ounce Rose syrup (I prefer Ahmed)

• 5 ounces tonic water

• Lime wedge

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, vodka, and rose syrup; shake vigorously. Drop approximately 5-6 ice cubes into highball glass and strain contents of shaker over the ice. Top with tonic water and garnish with lime wedge.

Sip slowly. This drink may become the love of your life.

Georgia On My Mind...And In My Wine Fridge

This past week I have been grateful to Georgias.

Yes, the plural.

First, the state whose voters elected to dump Trump, thus securing Biden an additional 16 electoral votes and (further) paving his path to presidential victory.

Second, the nation whose alarmingly underappreciated wines I have been drinking to mitigate my election anxiety, then celebrate sweet success.

Georgia (hereafter in reference to the country) has been producing wine for approximately 8 thousand years, and I am ashamed to write that I learned that fact roughly 8 weeks ago when I received an announcement regarding the release of some new vintages for export to the United States.

As of 2019, there were 1088 registered wineries in Georgia (many of them family-owned for generations), and 350 were able to ship their products to the United States. My 2021 goal may be to try a bottle from a different winery (almost) every day for the entire year.

And not only have Georgians been producing wine for a long time, they have been making many, many different types of it, thanks to the country’s rich varied topography, which supports 525 species of grapes.

Word on the international street, however, is getting out regarding Georgia’s robust wine culture, and exports to American alone increased by 46% from 2018 to 2019.

When I was initially offered the opportunity to try a few different varieties, I was dubious. Although my interest in food is wide-ranging, my taste in wine is far more limited: I like pinotage, some cabernets, and pretty much any hard California chardonnay I ever met.

Three bottles of Georgian wine later, and I feel like a kid who has ventured for the first time beyond block where she grew up and discovers a whole new neighborhood of undiscovered delights.

Why Georgian Wine Deserves A Place In Your Pandemic Pantry

Because they’re damn good in all sorts of different ways. Let me elaborate.

In dipping my toe, or, my tongue rather, in the world of Georgian wine, I initially didn’t stray far from my comfort zone and first sampled a 2015 Stori Marani Mtsvane, a trim, slightly effervescent white that was aged in a qvevri, a type of terra-cotta clay pot buried underground.

Georgian wine-makers have been utilizing qvevri for thousands of years, but the practice declined during the Soviet era and is only recently being revived. This treatment heightens the complexity of the flavor profile; case in point, when drinking the Mtsvane, I first tasted citrus, followed by a fleeting earthy sweetness, then finally a lovely floral finish. Though game for a second glass, I reserved the remainder to sip while snuggling up with a cheese plate.

Next, I moved on to a 2015 Telavi Old Cellar’s Rkatsiteli, one of the most popular wine grapes grown in Georgia due to its hearty constitution, which renders resistant to drastic temperature changes. Its medium body gave rise to a richer mouthfeel with stronger alcoholic undertones, but I like my white wines large and in charge, so kept drinking. The perfect meal match for the Rkatsiteli would be something equally robust; dare I suggest (other) Georgia-style fried chicken and macaroni and cheese?

Last but not least, I moved on to 2018 Tbilvino Tsinandali, which is produced by blending the aforementioned mtsvane and rkatsiteli varietals. In combination what emerges is a refreshing, pleasantly aggressive fruity wine whose end notes are impeccably smooth. It would make pair wonderfully with seafood dishes, perhaps a shrimp curry or bouillabaisse.

My tasting flight of Georgian wine has me fancying someday enjoying another type of flight, maybe to Tbilisi, so I can embark on a proper viticultural tour. But since for the foreseeable future I won’t be hopping on a plane (or even a midnight train to the other Georgia for that matter), I am grateful I can travel vicariously to this intriguing nation by indulging in its remarkable vino.

Want to stock your pandemic pantry with Georgian wine? See these retailers or buy online.

They Put They Fun In Fungus: Mushroom Cups

True story: I did not have my first whole cup of coffee until graduate school. Yes, I managed to make it through high school and college, including dozens of all-nighters during the latter educational experience without regular jolts of java.

Do not chalk up this “accomplishment” to my possession of super-human energy but rather my immature palate. I just couldn’t stand the taste of coffee, so my preferred caffeinated beverage of choice was hot tea with Splenda, and barring that, Diet Mountain Dew.

See what I mean about immaturity?

In the course of my doctoral studies, one of my colleagues (in utter disbelief of my coffee avoidance) introduced me to some milder blends, and I discovered, “Hey, this stuff isn’t so bad and man it really works!"

Thus began my journey into recreational coffee use.

Recently, I had the opportunity to a most unusual varietal: Mushroom Cups, which, as a the name suggests, are a line of coffees infused with chanterelle mushrooms. What’s the point of fusing Folger’s with fungus? The aforementioned species of mushrooms are high in vitamins D and B, which help convert food into energy and promote the production of serotonin.

Why Mushroom Cups Deserve A Place In Your Pandemic Pantry

Available in four flavors designed with different effects in mind (“Fitness”, “Focus”, “Heal”, “Relax”), Mushroom Cups provide balanced blends devoid of excess acid (which can cause that wretched coffee reflux). Both kinds I tried (the “Fitness” and “Focus”) gave me a boost that waxed and waned gradually—no uncomfortable “spike” followed by a plummet into the despairing depths of fatigue.

The “Fitness” was milder than the “Focus” and neither had any discernible mushroom flavor. This is a good thing because I don’t know about you, but if I want to taste some ‘shrooms, I’ll nosh on a grilled portabella sandwich or add some buttons to my pizza, not sip them from a mug.

Finally, Mushroom Cups require little effort to prepare, perfect for those early mornings or late nights when boiling water is the only “cooking” you can handle.

Spoonful of Comfort

I used to want to punch people when they said stuff like, "It's never too soon to start thinking about the holidays."

However, as I have grown older, busier, and friends and family are increasingly dispersed throughout the country, I have reluctantly accepted the aforementioned statement as a partial truth, at least if you want to avoid exorbitant rush shipping fees.

Christmas is more than a month away and I have already identified a wonderful foodie gift option for my out-of-state loved ones: chicken noodle soup, rolls, chocolate chip cookies from Spoonful of Comfort. 

First, I should admit that I am not a soup person. It also might be possible that at one time when I was really grumpy I said something like, "chicken noodle soup is for old or sick people!" Besides the fact that this edict is patently false, it also unfairly generalizes about the inherent value of chicken noodle soup. On the quality spectrum, Spoonful of Comfort's soup is on the far right, i.e., it is the Mercedes of chicken soup. The flavorful broth shimmers appropriately to reflect an ample use of schmaltz and the noodles are plentiful and perfectly al dente. Furthermore, while actually locating a piece of fowl in some chicken noodle soups is like a game of "Where's Waldo," this version is loaded with over-sized chunks of tender, juicy white meat. Thick carrot coins and fragrant parsley provide botanical balance to this protein richness.

Dessert can come first.

While I may not be a "soup person," I am a card-carrying member of the Chocolate Chip Cookie Lovers of America club and therefore a bit picky when it comes to their preparation. I had low expectations for any chocolate chip cookies not fresh out of the oven, but surprisingly, these saucer-sized treats arrived very moist, chewy, and liberally studded with semi-sweet chocolate chips. 

Although you can order cookies and soups individually from Spoonful of Comfort  (other varieties of which include oatmeal raisin and butternut squash, respectively), I suggest the combination gift baskets because they also include fluffy rolls and...

A ladle! With a bow on it! So cute.

Finally because Spoonful of Comfort's goodies  are not explicitly holiday-themed, they also work well as "Please don't succumb to the shingles" or "Congratulations, you just contributed another person to the world population" presents. So, even if you don't get your sh*t together to buy Christmas gifts, you can make it up for that Next Major Life Event.

Suji's Korean Cuisine: Part II

As I noted in Part I of this series, I was contacted by a representative of Suji's Korean Cuisine to review their new line of prepared Korean meals. My above-average experience with Suji's Chicken Over Rice and Udon Noodles With Chicken made me excited to try the other two samples, the Kimchi Rice with Uncured Bacon and Spicy Chicken and Potatoes.  Unfortunately, I was sidelined but briefly (fortunately!) with a head cold and needed to postpone my taste-testing.

I was particularly curious about the inclusion of potatoes as an ingredient because I don't usually associate this vegetable-cum-starch with Korean cuisine, with the exception being the requisite cup of potato salad often included in banchan.  I knew this 'exception' was due to the happy confluence of potatoes being assimilated as a crop in Asia several hundred years ago and mayonnaise becoming more popular due to the influx of foreigners during WWII; as a result, Korea as well as Japan then developed their own regionally-inflected potato salads. But further research revealed spuds, while not as prevalent as rice or noodles in Korean cuisine, do work their way into a number side dishes, often in stir-fried sweet potato form, hence what I assumed was the inspiration this dish.

Why does eating feel cozier when done out of chipped crockery?

The Kimchi Rice with Uncured Bacon had me with "kimchi" and "bacon." Even though I have virtually unlimited access to the former thanks to a huge vat made by my husband who excels at producing his own homemade version of Korea's national condiment. And speaking of my significant other, "That smells really good," was the first thing he said when I peeled the plastic off the package hot from the microwave. The delightful fragrance happily matched the strong fatty pork flavors and fermented tang of the kimchi, both of which imbued the softened grains of short rice. I could have easily eaten a triple portion, and for the adventurous, I suggest dropping in a raw egg, stirring, and then letting it cook in the juices.

At some point in my life, specifically, when I was working India, I could stand a high level of spice. Distance from that experience has significantly lowered my tolerance, so I braced myself for potential heat from the Spicy Chicken with Potatoes. However, not unsurprisingly, Suji didn't run the risk of alienating mainstream American palates by turning it up too much, and I detected only very low notes of black and red pepper. Unfortunately, that meant in the absence of other strong herbs, the dish was lacking any flavor other than just generic soy. This dish does get points for well-cooked chicken and the sprinkling of sesame seeds (just add more!).

Suji's Korean Cuisine: Part I

When I was contacted by a representative of Suji's Korean Cuisine to review their new line of prepared Korean meals, I was curious but hesitant. Living in Houston has afforded me the opportunity to eat a lot of very good Korean food and I knew anything pre-made and mass-produced could never approach the quality of fresh fare made in small batches.

But it sure came admirably close, and therefore receives my blessing as a terrific option when 1) You don't have time to go to Bon Ga (my favorite Korean restaurant in Houston) 2) Your Korean chef-in-residence (husband) is away on business and 3) HEB (which vends Suji's products) is more convenient. 

I received four samples gratis and in Part I, I will share my thoughts on the Chicken Over Rice and Udon Noodles With Chicken.

Small portion but packs a punch.

Preparing both meals is a cinch: rip off (I mean, delicately remove the label) and microwave for 2 minutes. The portion sizes are modest and more suited to lunch rather than dinner (unless you're all fancy/European and eat your biggest meal of the day at noon). 

The Chicken Over Rice boasted large, discernible chunks of carrots and green peppers as well as tender, near translucent slivers of yellow onion. I adored the almost risotto-like consistency, though technically most Korean rice dishes should have a less soupy, more glutinous texture. This dish gets major points for its strong notes of sesame and pepper imbued in the grains as well as bits of moist chicken.

Udon Noodles with Chicken

Again, strangely, I was drawn to the very component of the Udon Noodles with Chicken that made them "inauthentic," the presence of  udon noodles, which find their origins Japanese cuisine.  This is not to say udon noodles are not commonly used in Korean cooking as naturally (or rather, unnaturally, in the case of the Japanese occupation Korea in World War II) styles tend to blend over the years through enhanced travel, trade, and communication. Ultimately, I preferred this dish over the Chicken Over Rice, not just because of the thick, chewy hearty noodles but also the wonderfully robust garlic flavor that contrasted well with a touch of sweetness from the soy sauce.

Look for Part II next week in which I review the Kimchi Rice and Spicy Chicken with Potatoes.

Forget Flowers: Buy Your Woman Some Whiskey This Valentine's Day

And, specifically Laphroaig.  I have long been a whiskey fan and very loyal to Laphroaig due to its impeccable, consistent quality at a reasonable price point. Since the distillery in charming Islay has been in operation for over 200 years, I guess they know what they're doing by now.  Their PR will not confirm that leprechauns count among the magical employees but I have my suspicions.

Pineapple of My Eye

 However, it has come to my attention over the years that some gals unfortunately are intimidated or put off by this spirit as they associate it with old boys' clubs, i.e., not-so-safe-spaces for women. This stereotype is certainly based on some degree of truth as many ROWDs (Rich Old White Dudes) who frequent private societies do display a particular predilection for single malts, but as a proud Irish woman I know whiskey is the people's drink!  And, despite what this administration might have you believe, women are people, too. So, this February the 14th gift your female partner in crime a bottle of whiskey.  Laphroaig Select is a terrific for the whiskey newbie due to its subtle sweetness and mild smoky notes.  However, should your inamorata already be a whiskey lover, I recommend indulging in some Laphroaig 10 Year Old. Either way, enjoy the first round neat (Bridey's preferred preparation), then mix up some cocktails, like this terrific one created by Ivy Mix.

Pineapple of My Eye

• 1 & 1/2 parts Laphroaig 10 Year Old

• 1/2 part pineapple rum

• 3/4 part lime juice

• 3/4 part simple syrup

• 1/2 teaspoon pomegranate molasses

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a rocks glass over fresh ice. Garnish with lime.

The Calm Book

When I was initially approached with the opportunity to review Calm, a guide to daily mindfulness, I almost declined because I thought it sounded really cheesy and not in a good carbonara sort of way. Also, do I really need this book? I KNOW HOW TO CALM DOWN.

Oh, wait, no I don't. Thanks to genes that predispose me to anxiety and socially induced neuroticism due our current political climate, I'm on edge these days. So, yeah, maybe I could use this book.

Bridey O'Leary endorses this message.

The authors state in the introduction that Calm is a non-linear narrative; readers should feel free to frolic from one activity (i.e., "Sketch Your Own Tattoo", "Sketch Out Your Perfect Island") or section ("Nature", "Sleep", "Travel", etc.) to another. Naturally, I skipped straight to "Food" chapter to read about calming comestibles and how setting the table slowly can help you unwind. (Damn, it true. Except on Thanksgiving.)

Yum.

I like this book. The premise is hippie-dippy but the content albeit a bit too cutesy at times, is generally fun and, most importantly, distracts you from ticker tape and reminds you of not just "what's important" but "what's important to you."

Calm foods. To this list, I will add chocolate chip cookies.

Buy the book. I promise it's more fun than Candy Crush.

Back to the Roots: Mushroom Farm!

A few weeks before Christmas the folks at Back to the Roots contacted me and asked if I would be interested in reviewing their grow-your-own mushroom farm. In addition to offering healthful "Ready to Eat" products, the most interesting of which is organic purple corn flakes, Back to the Roots also vends a line of "Ready to Grow"  kits, including the aforementioned mushroom farm, "garden in a jar," and a self-watering tomato planter.

Clearly these generous people don't know me too well. While my husband is extremely adept at cultivating all sorts of flora, I am famous for my ability to kill even the hardiest botanical species.  Let's hope having a green thumb is a dominant trait or else there's little hope for our kids.

With the new year I was feeling emboldened about Trying Things I Historically Suck At and decided to give the kit a go. And, lo and behold, I surprised myself.

It's alive!!!

Starting the mushroom farm was easy: tear off the window, soak the bed in water for about 8-12 hours (I went for 24 just to be sure), place not in direct sunlight, and mist bed about twice day. I launched my farm on a Thursday and by Sunday saw some blossoming. One week out my oyster fungi had grown substantially. I expect to be able to harvest them by this coming Sunday.

I give this kit a solid "A" for its ability to generate fast results and enable this Texas gal to say, if only for a week, "I am a successful mushroom farmer."

What's next for the 'shrooms? I planning on using them in pasta, specifically this pappardelle recipe courtesy of Martha Stewart. 

Sourdough Basics With The Bread Maiden

As I mentioned previously on other social media, my great friend Hadyn Kim, aka "The Bread Maiden," visited me recently, and to my great delight, gave me a lesson in bread-making. Hadyn knows more about bread-making than anyone I know. [End stop] 

And while I could listen to her talk for hours about the scientific theories and culinary history behind all sorts of different bread genres, I didn't want to completely monopolize her visit with my fascination with baked carbohydrates. So, we confined our bread studies to a single topic: creating the perfect sourdough. 

It should be noted that Professor Hadyn BROUGHT HER VERY OWN SOURDOUGH STARTER FROM HER HOME IN VIRGINIA. It should also be noted that she also had her adorable 15-month-year-old in tow. Seriously, she is sourdough supermama. #breadmakingbadass

Full video coverage of our lesson will be forthcoming, but for now please check out Hadyn's site for details how a simple 1-2-3 ratio can yield a wonderfully tangy, aromatic loaf. 

Finally, if you happen to find yourself in the DC area, Hadyn regularly hosts bread camps as well as private tutorials in which she instructs folks on the finer points of kneading, ingredients, boules, and all that good stuff that goes into bread-making.

Gluten-Free Gourmet: Russo's Frozen Pizzas

Let's be very clear: I am not a gluten-free gal. I do write this with a wee bit of disdain because I resent the fact that the gluten-free movement has co-opted attention away from people with real gluten sensitivities (e.g. those with celiac disease) and often present this style of eating as "obviously" healthier. It's not.

But I'm not here to deliver a philippic but rather praise for Russo's frozen pies, including their gluten-free varieties. 

New Jersey native Anthony Russo is somewhat of a culinary hero for bring a distinct variant of East Coast pizza to H-town, which is now home to several locations of Russo's New York Pizzeria. (Incidentally, if you should find yourself craving NY pies in Dubai, Russo's has a branch there.)

Recently, Russo unveiled a line of frozen pizzas in the following six gluten-free flavors (New York-Style Cheese, Margherita, Pepperoni, Greek, Mulberry, Chicken Rustica) and three regular crust flavors (Prosciutto and Fig, Spicy Chicken Fajita, and Italian-Style Meat Lovers).

Of the three varieties I tried (New York-Style Cheese, Chicken Rustica, Prosciutto & Fig) all had different merits. The gluten-free flavors are distinguishable for their crust texture, which is more uniformly dense and not as fluffy and chewy as the regular kind. But that distinction didn't at all bother me with the Chicken Rustica pizza, for its toppings really stole the show. The combination of roma tomatoes, olive oil (certified Sicilian), and spinach provided a lovely botanical backdrop to the juicy grilled cheese and rich mozzarella and tangy feta cheeses. 

Prosciutto & Fig Pizza

Simpler but also satisfying, the New-York Style Cheese was a basic red sauce pie covered in shredded mozzarella and dusted with Italian seasoning. My grade for this pizza (B+) would easily move into "A" range if about a half-cup more cheesed was added in order to ensure a thicker fromage coating.

The fact that the Prosciutto & Fig turned out to be my favorite flavor is not just a function of its use of gluten (I promise!), but rather due to delightful contrast between fruity sweetness and porcine fat in combination with the rich dairy notes from the mozzarella and enervating, crunchy arugula. In the case of this pizza, sparse cheese was in order lest the the savory component be too overwhelming given the very large strips of cured ham.

All of the aforementioned pizzas are lower in sodium and carbohydrates than the majority of others on the market, which means consuming the whole damn delicious pie won't have you feeling bloated or chugging water in the middle of the night.

Samples were provided gratis; opinions are my own.

Happy National Vodka Day!

Today (October 4th) is National Vodka Day and if you're looking to raise a glass, consider this delicious recipe from Prairie Organic Spirits:

Roasted Grape Bounty

·         2 oz. Prairie Organic Vodka

·         1 oz. grape juice

·         ½ vanilla bean, scraped

·         Vanilla sugar rim

Directions:

1.    Place 2 oz. of Prairie Organic Vodka and 1 oz. of grape juice in a shaker. Mix vigorously.

2.    Pour the mix into a tall glass rimmed with sugar previously.

3.    Top with ice and the vanilla bean

Cute Warning: Bumkins Snack Bags

I am not a child. I do not have children (yet).

BUT GODDAMNIT I AM GOING TO USE THESE BUMKINS DISNEY AND DR. SEUSS SNACK BAGS.

They're not only freakin' adorable, they're also reusable, which means now I can incorporate them into my nightly popcorn ritual* again and again and again and again...

I use Disney Princess snack bags, therefore I am a Disney Princess.

Another appealing aspect of these bags is their small (kid) size, which makes portion control easier if you're the type of person who can easily eat an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting. I mean, not that I am.

* Almost every night I make popcorn, watch some iteration of Real Housewives, and alternately wander around my living area playing with my kitties (and strewing kernels all over the place in the process).

TBT: Snack Pack Chocolate Pudding

There are some food products I will always enjoy no matter how many fancier/homemade versions I encounter.  Case in point, Snack Pack pudding, one of the many forbidden fruits of my childhood thanks to a mom who did not allow me to take desserts regularly in my lunch box and made her own pudding (how dare her!?!) .

This child (left) needs a pudding cup. The other (right) is content to dance.

My two favorite flavors were chocolate and tapioca. One time I recall I even had the opportunity to mix them together at a sleepover at the home of a friend whose parents were far more permissive with processed snacks. 

Now, since I'm a grownup (albeit not necessarily always mature) I can have Snack Pack pudding whenever I want. And while these days I'm inclined to make my own large pearl tapioca with fancy vanilla or whip out some high-grade gourmet dark chocolate for pudding, there are times when the sweet nostalgia that comes with Snack Pack is just what I crave.

Healthy Choice "Nothing Artificial" Meals

When representatives of ConAgra Foods contacted me to ask if I would be interested in reviewing some new Healthy Choice products, I felt more than a little nostalgic.

There was definitely a period in my life, specifically junior and senior year in high school, in which I relied on Healthy Choice meals as terrific alternatives to the garbage vended by my high school cafeteria. I used the microwave in the Yearbook Room (yes, my school had an entire room devoted to yearbook) to reheat my meal of choice, which I would eat while cramming for whatever test or presentation I had that day.

Back in the day, the majority of the frozen pizzas, pasta, and noodle dishes I consumed from Healthy Choice may have been low in calories, sodium, and fat, but definitely contained some hard-to-pronounce ingredients and were very carb-heavy.  Now, Healthy Choice offers some new options that are more balanced in their components and use nothing artificial, e.g. a Sweet & Spicy Asian Noodle Bowl and an "Unwrapped" Burrito Bowl, both of which I tested.

The Asian noodle bowl gets high marks for a sauce that doesn't rely on salt for flavor and for offering noodles that were tender yet vegetables (edamame, carrots) that weren't soggy. Try it for lunch on Meatless Mondays, or do as I did, and toss in some shrimp for a heartier weeknight dinner.

Colorful but missing something...

The burrito bowl was fine but bland, devoid of any discernible seasoning. I was tempted to dump a cup of queso on the steamed rice, legumes, peppers, and corn to liven up the dish; however, a ladle of fatty dairy is probably incongruous with the whole "healthy" theme. While this straightforward, no-frills meal is perfect is you're simply seeking fuel, those who live to eat rather than eat to live, may be disappointed.

Healthy Choice offers many more options than these and I have no doubt there is one to satisfy every palate.

Yellow Rose Whiskey Cocktail: Peachy Keen Punch

Last week, Wyatt and my friend DJ. D (WorldWide Playa) took a terrific tour of the Yellow Rose Distillery, Houston's only whiskey distillery. #drinklocal

You can actually purchase one of the barrels.

Samples were abundant and we even had the opportunity to try a super-proof (but don't call it 'moonshine') white whiskey.

I'll take three of each, please.

Yellow Rose also graciously gifted Bridey with her own bottle, which she has been using purely for research purposes. Most recently, her fieldwork experimentation yielded a novel drink she likes to call,  "Peachy Keen Punch."

The Peachy Keen

Peachy Keen Punch

• 2 ounces Yellow Rose Straight Rye Whiskey 

• 2 ounces peach juice

• 2 ounces Sparkling Ice Strawberry Watermelon

• Strawberry Garnish

Fill a chilled mason jar with 2-3 ice cubes. Add Yellow Rose whiskey and peach juice, then top with Sparkling Ice Strawberry Watermelon. Garnish with strawberry slice. Sip as the sun goes down.

Like other stone fruit, peaches provide an even sweetness that wonderfully complements the rougher smoky undertones of the whiskey.  Berry-flavored bubbles add effervescence as well as a more piquant sugary note, making for a punch that pulls a softer punch.

Hampton Creek Just Mayo: Reuben Burgers

Earlier this week I posted about deploying some Hampton Creek "Awesomesauce" for Crab and Salmon Bruschetta, which I plan to serve on Memorial Day.  Yesterday I was again inspired by a food show on the Travel Channel (specifically, Burgerland), and decided to make burgers for supper.  Those that know me well know I am a creature of habit (actually, the understatement of the year), so while I was tempted to drown my patty in just more Awesomesauce, I resisted the urge to succumb to another albeit delicious consumption pattern in favor of trying something new.  Specifically,  Just Mayo's "Just Thousand (Island)" dressing.  And because for me 1000 Island dressing is synonymous with Reuben sandwiches, I gave my burger a little deli inflection.

Step 1: Season your patty.

When I have a burger, I have a burger--you what I'm sayin'? That means no less than a half pound of ground chuck. I then season my little beef baby with salt, pepper, and (my favorite) minced garlic.

Step 2: Cook to desired doneness; Step 3: Top with corned beef.

Since Bridey is a rare bird, she naturally likes her meat very rare; however, if pink flesh makes you squeamish by all means cook your burger longer.  (If that means until it's a hockey puck, well, God forgive you.)  After a good sear on both sides, I added some sliced corned beef.

Step 4: Top with sauerkraut.

Next, I added an ample amount of sauerkraut for tang and textural contrast. 

Step 5: Layer on the swiss cheese.

Then comes swiss cheese, which should be melted by placing a cover briefly over the pan. . (Btw, see that puddle of beef and oil? It looks gross but tastes delicious.)  

Step 6: Add Just Thousand Island

I removed my burger from the pan to bread it (if we can use "plate" as a verb, then I damn well am going to use "bread" in the same fashion) and add Just Thousand Island.  However, I recommend returning your Reuben Burger back to the still hot pan and using a sandwich press to smoosh the finished sammie such that the bread absorbs the juices. 

Hampton Creek Just Mayo: Garlic Crab and Salmon Bruschetta

This past December I first tried Hampton Creek's Just Mayo, an eggless mayonnaise, which among other things, worked remarkably well as a base for tuna and egg salad (irony noted).  The ever-enterprising chefs at Hampton Creek have continued on their creative streak and added three (relatively new) varieties to the line-up: "Awesomesauce," "Just Russian" dressing, and "Just Sweet Mustard."  With Memorial Day fast-approaching, I was more than happy to engage in some experimentation with these condiments to refine my own personal contribution to our apartment complex's group cookout. That crazy cat lady from #10 has another thing coming if she thinks her potato salad gets all the props this year....HAH! 

Step 1: Dollop of Awesomesauce

Now, Hampton Creek has quite an elaborate YouTube recipe channel, which leads you step by step through the preparation of diverse sweet and savory dishes featuring their products as ingredients. But after watching Andrew Zimmern eat his way through Baltimore during my early morning workout, I developed a hankering for some crab meat. So, I created my riff on bruschetta using this crustacean.

Step 2: Minced garlic

After toasting small slices of a French baguette, I added about a teaspoon of Just Mayo "Awesomesauce," which is basically an (eggless) mayonnaise infused with garlic and onions. It's tangy, just a little sweet, and perhaps not exactly what you should eat before a major smooch session, but A-okay if your inamorato is away for the evening. Because you can never have enough garlic, I added more minced garlic on top of the Awesomesauce.

Step 3: Top with lump crab meat and dill.

Finally, I topped with jumbo lump crab meat and a small sprig of dill. Then, I repeated the process approximately 15 times and ate all the slices while watching The Real Housewives of New York.

If crab is not your thing, the above recipe can easily be modified with smoked salmon.

Prairie Organic Spirits

I first learned about Prairie Organic Spirits at the 2015 Tales of the Cocktail, where they won me over with their colorful garden-inspired displays and friendly mixologists. Also, they were giving out free muddlers!

Prairie Organic at Tales of the Cocktail

Prairie Organic specializes in small-batch, organic (duh) clear alcohols (gin, vodka, etc.), whose uniformly pure taste makes them scarily sippable and wonderful ingredients for cocktails.

I'll take two!

Recently, POS and I had another rendezvous in preparation for the Austin Food & Wine Festival (later cancelled) and they were generous enough to provide me with a sample of their Cucumber Vodka for some home experimentation.

Thus far my research has yielded two more-than-quaffable creations:

Blackberry Ginger Cucumber Highball (pictured above)

• 1 1/2 ounces Prairie Organic Cucumber Vodka
• 3 ounces ginger ale
• blackberries for garnish

Pour vodka and ginger ale into a chilled glass. Garnish with blackberries, which are best consumed after you have finished your drink so they have time to absorb the boozy juices.

C.G.C (Cherry-Grape-Cucumber) Martini

• 1 1/2 ounces Prairie Organic Cucumber Vodka
• 2 ounces 100% pure grape juice
• fresh cherries

Pit approximately 4-5 cherries. Muddle at the bottom of a shaker; add grape juice, vodka, and ice. Shake vigorously, and strained into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a fresh cherry.

The Blackberry Ginger Highball's slightly spicy notes are mellowed out by the cucumber and I love the way the errant blackberries add the occasional punch of sweetness. Harder-hitting albeit just as refreshing is the C.G.C Martini, whose berry overtones almost mask the alcohol...which is why, 'whoopsy-daisy, did I just drink two in under 45 minutes?'

Mixology Math: BAI + Effen Vodka = Early Summer Bliss

If there were a formal term for someone exceptionally well-versed in the world of zero- or low-calorie beverages (akin to sommelier for wine), I would hold that title.  In fact, and again I write this with utmost humility, I might be among the world's best.  For indeed I challenge you to find someone else who has spent as much time as I have surveying, evaluating, and testing artificially-sweetened libations.

Yes, my parents are very proud.

EFFEN Vodka is available at Spec's and most other liquor stores

Since I associate BAI with post-workout refreshment, I hadn't considered using it as a mixer (sorry, folks, my recovery hydration drink ain't booze); however, when  learned that EFFEN Vodka teamed up with BAI to create a line of low-calorie cocktails for the Tribeca Film Festival and Coachella, the wheels started turning. Here is my first creation:

Thyme Is On My Side Sparkler

• 1 ounce sparkling water
• 2 ounces EFFEN Vodka
• 3 ounces BAI Sulawesi Limon
• 2 sprigs fresh thyme

Pour sparkling water into a chilled glass with 1 spring thyme. Muddle until thyme infuses water; strain out leaves. Add vodka and top with BAI. Garnish with sprig of fresh thyme.

Thyme Is On My Side is airy, crisp, and boasts salient botanical notes that balance well with the mild citrus flavor of the BAI.  Sip slowly and pair with grapes, cheese, and crackers.

Another great BAI cocktail that makes wonderful use fresh herbs, though one not created by me, is the Pretty In Pink.

Attractive drink. Gorgeous hardwood table.

Pretty In Pink

• 3 ounces Bai Bubbles Gimbi Pink Grapefruit
• 3 ounces champagne
• Fresh sage

Pour ice-cold champagne into a chilled flute. Top with BAI and garnish with sage leaves. Drink while gossiping with your manicurist.